How to Make Better Decisions (Without Overthinking)
Simple filters for a more intentional life.
If you’ve ever wondered ‘how can I stop overthinking?’—this is for you.
If you’ve been reading my blog for awhile, you’ve probably noticed that I love to optimize.
The most functional bag. The most efficient furniture layout. The optimal routine. The most effective plan of action.
That instinct has helped me learn to design a more intentional lifestyle – but I’ve recently noticed how easily it can tip into rumination.
It was like there was a constant background hum to life: “Is this the right choice?”
Big decisions like “Should I quit my job?” were getting the same mental energy as “What should we do today?” Even inconsequential choices felt pressing.
If you’re an overthinker like me, you probably recognize this spiral: the analyzing, second-guessing, and rehashing decisions long after they're made.
I could never settle for “good enough.” Every choice felt heavy – loaded down with questions about identity, priorities, and even comparison.
Eventually, I realized how much this overthinking was holding me back, keeping me stagnant, and getting in the way of the things that really matter.
I started paying attention to the people in my life who seemed most at ease. What I noticed surprised me: they aren’t better at deciding, or more confident, or less thoughtful. They are just clearer about what matters to them (and what doesn’t).
This simple shift alone has reduced my mental load more than any amount of organization or optimization could.
So in this post, I’m sharing the trick I use to stop overthinking and make better decisions.
Seek Alignment, not Perfection
Call it whatever you want – decision filters, lifestyle lens, personal standards, defaults…
But if you’re trying to figure out how to make a better decision (or how to make decisions without becoming paralyzed), it starts with understanding your non-negotiables.
What small, consistent set of questions will you use as a lens for everything else?
Helpful decision filters will be deeply personal (not aspirational). They reflect how you actually want to live, not how you think you should live. Unhelpful ones will be rooted in guilt or the need to justify yourself.
Most importantly, your personal filters should release you from the need for perfection or optimization. They should allow you to make choices that feel in alignment – and let that be good enough to move on.
The 3-Step Process to Create Your Own Decision Filters
Step 1: Notice Where You Get Stuck
For a few days, pay attention to:
What do you overthink the most?
When do you tend to regret or second-guess later?
What decisions feel heavier than they should?
This can be anything – what to wear, whether to buy something, how to spend your free time. The things that hold you up will be different for everyone. I find it easiest to jot quick notes in my phone when I’m trying to track patterns like this.
Next, look beneath the surface to try and decipher what’s at the root. Do you overthink when you feel pressed for time? Insecure? In a deficit-mindset?
Catalog what your recurring triggers are. Often, it’s one of four things:
A fear → like scarcity, inadequacy, or loss of control.
A need → like time, money, rest, or energy.
An uncertainty → like your career direction, a relationship, or even personal style.
An insecurity → like success, appearance, or “being behind.”
These are the sticking points you’ll use to figure out what your nervous-system is quietly begging for.
Step 2: Name the Outcome You Actually Want
Next, map those triggers to the outcome you are craving. How do you actually want to feel?
If you get hung up on looking impressive → maybe you actually crave contentment
If you always feel too busy → you might just need fewer, more meaningful connections
If a lack of confidence makes you indecisive → it may help to focus on participation rather than perfection
Choose no more than 2-3 preferred outcomes that will guide your personal decision filters.
Step 3: Translate Outcomes to Filters
Next, turn those outcomes into filtering questions or “rules” that you can default to when your mind starts racing.
Think of these less as rules for success – and more as permission for peace. They’re the grounding lens to use when you start overthinking.
A few examples:
Does this choice fit with the time/money/energy I have?
Does this choice move me closer to my dream life?
Would I do this/want this if no one saw?
Is this decision solving a real problem or an imagined one?
Does this feel like an obligation or an opportunity?
Does this create more maintenance than meaning?
And, the one filter I use more than any other:
If this won’t matter in 5 years, don’t spend more than 5 minutes worrying about it.
I won’t remember whether I made lasagna or soup for dinner in five years – so I’m learning to just pick one and move on!
These filters only work because they’re uniquely personal. They’re allowed to change as you do – different seasons of life will require different standards.
Using decision filters has allowed me to be more present, cut down on mental clutter, and learn to be content without perfection.
I still overanalyze big decisions sometimes, but the rumination cycle ends faster now. And the small decisions that once drained me barely register anymore!
This is what intentional living feels like to me – not perfection, but clarity followed by action.
I’d love to know what your decision filters are — drop them in the comments below!
Frequently Asked Questions About Making Decisions & Overthinking
How can I stop overthinking?
If you’re stuck replaying a decision, your body is usually looking for safety, not more information. Creating a few personal decision filters helps calm that response because you’re no longer starting from zero every time. When you already know your default standards, there’s less to spiral about.
How do I stop overthinking small decisions?
Small decisions feel heavy when they’re subtly representing bigger fears – like wanting to be liked, successful, or “on track.” One of the easiest ways to stop overthinking is to decide in advance which choices don’t deserve much mental energy. If it won’t matter in five years, give it five minutes (or less), then move on.
I’m an overthinker. How do I make decisions without spiraling?
For overthinkers, the goal isn’t to stop thinking altogether — it’s to shorten the loop. Instead of asking What’s the best possible choice? try asking What’s aligned with the life I want? That shift alone can help you make decisions faster and with less regret.
How do you make good decisions without trying to optimize everything?
Learning how to make good decisions isn’t about being perfect — it’s about being aligned. The people who seem most confident aren’t constantly optimizing; they’re just clear on their non-negotiables. When you know what matters to you, many options naturally fall away.
What’s the difference between how to make a decision and how to make a better decision?
Knowing how to make a decision is about mechanics — listing pros and cons, gathering information, choosing an option. Knowing how to make a better decision is about alignment. A “better” decision is one you can live with peacefully, not one that looks perfect on paper.
Why do I overthink decisions so much?
Overthinking often shows up when decisions feel tied to identity: who you are, how you’re perceived, or whether you’re “doing life right.” This is especially common for thoughtful, high-functioning people who care deeply. Building an intentional lifestyle helps separate everyday choices from your sense of self.
How does making clearer decisions support an intentional lifestyle?
An intentional lifestyle isn’t built on perfect choices – it’s built on consistent ones. When you have a few guiding principles, you spend less time second-guessing and more time actually living. Clear decisions create mental space, and mental space is where meaning has room to stretch out.
Decision-Making & Overthinking Quotes
Sometimes the most helpful thing (especially for an overthinker!) is a line that cuts through the noise. These are a few quotes I return to when I feel stuck, indecisive, or tempted to replay a choice one too many times:
“Overthinking is rarely about the decision itself — it’s about wanting certainty where none exists.”
“You don’t need more time to think. You need permission to move on.”
“If you’ve already gathered the information, rumination won’t give you clarity — it will only delay relief.”
“Contentment comes not from perfection decisions, but from aligned ones.”
“Not every decision deserves a debate.”
“A good decision is one you can live with peacefully”
“Sometimes ‘good enough’ is more than enough.”
“When your priorities are clear, decisions feel lighter.”
“You don’t need to optimize your life to enjoy it.”
“Good taste is not only what you choose, but also what you don’t.”
“When you know what matters to you, many options naturally fall away.”
